Are you paying your kids to do chores around the house? It’s a common concept, whether you give an allowance, or work some other payment system, it’s not unusual to find families who pay their children to do chores.
Here’s the thing, though: you need to stop.  Seriously, STOP Paying Your Kids To Do Chores.
Don’t stop making them do chores; just stop paying them to do it. Stop paying them to do what is expected of them.
Related: Kids and Chores: Age-Appropriate Kids Chores
Why Stop Paying Your Kids To Do Chores
Let me explain before you make any judgments. These are my Why’s.
First, this isn’t saying you can’t give your children an allowance if you choose to do so. This just means their allowance shouldn’t be tied to specific chores. If you want to give your children x amount per week/month, then feel free to do so. However, if you want them to do chores around the house, this needs to be separate from allowance or a pay structure.
Some families decide they will offer to pay their children for doing extra chores, and there’s certainly nothing wrong with this. Meaning, if your child wants to help with yard cleanup, or do other tasks outside of their normal chores, in exchange for monetary compensation, then that’s great. It teaches responsibility and the value of working for what you want.
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That said, it’s important to have your children do regular, age-appropriate chores around the house and that you don’t pay them for these. These are tasks they need to learn to do on their own. Even very young children can learn to put their toys away, and pick up after themselves. This is part of respecting your space and it’s a skill that everyone should learn.
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Chores should be done because it’s the right thing to do when you are part of a society. Your kids live in the home, they use things and space in the home, and they need to learn to contribute to the home and do their part.
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What Does This Teach Our Kids
This teaches your children to be grounded, responsible, and generous. Doing chores teaches children:
- Discipline
- The importance of helping others
- To clean up after themselves
- To respect their space
- The value of hard work
- Self-control
- Awareness of others’ needs
- Teamwork
- Confidence in their abilities
It also teaches them valuable life skills they will need as they grow older. It will help them build confidence now, and it will also help them function better and more independently in the world when they are older. When they move out or go away to college, they’ll have the skills needed to do things and they will have the confidence to know they can do it on their own.
When you pay children to do chores, you’re diminishing the lesson to be learned in doing the chore. It also hinders learning and dampens their enjoyment of the actual tasks. You are essentially bribing them to do it. To install a sense of responsibility, you want to raise children who do chores because they know it’s the right thing to do and because they want to take personal responsibility for themselves and also to help out the community in which they reside.
Related: What my MOM Never told me about having kids.
Allowance or payment shouldn’t be an incentive to do what they should be learning to do anyway. No one is going to pay them to pick up their dirty laundry as adults. No one is going to pay them to wash their dishes or sweep their floors. It’s a very important lesson we much teach them as parents, to learn to do chores because they need to be done, not because of the promise of payment or reward.
So, start your children young with tasks they can manage on their own, and adjust the chores as they grow older. Allowance can be a good system to teach money matters and the importance of saving, but this should be done separately from chore responsibilities.
Do you pay your kids for chores? Â What is your system?
Stacie @ Divine Lifestyle says
We never pay our kids for doing their chores. Chores are something that they do that is their responsibility as a way to help the family as a whole. We don’t want them to tie monetary value to that.
Marissa says
I agree! Kids should not be paid for doing tasks they are expected to do anyway.
Bill Sweeney says
I totally agree with this post. I don’t think kids should ever be paid to do chores. Chores are to help the family. They’re there to make family life easier and to teach the kids about helping.
Marissa says
So glad I am not the only one who believes this!
Amanda says
My boys are still pretty young so they don’t have allowances or chores, I simply ask them to help to contribute to keeping the house running. I don’t want them to only do something helpful simply to get a reward.
Amy @ Marvelous Mommy says
I totally agree. I don’t pay my kids to do chores. I always say, “You live here, you clean here!” If we can make the mess together, we can clean it together too!
Marissa says
Yes! No reason they can not clean up after themselves.
Jenn says
I have never paid our girls to do chores. We’ve always taught them that we should all pull our weight as a family.
Nancy L. says
I agree. I never paid my kids to do chores. My parents used to give them money when they would help out, but even they stopped giving money and started feeding them instead. (After the work was done, of course.) 😉
Jenn @ EngineerMommy says
This is a good perspective. I agree that chores should be done because it’s expected to be productive in society. I am definitely going to share this post with a few friends.
Chubskulit Rose says
Sometimes we reward our kids for chores that they do by buying the thing that they really want. Chores like washing dishes, making beds, cleaning, and taking care of pets are just normal for my kids but with special project, we do pay them for helping (i.e when we did our fence project).
Marissa says
I agree with this. The normal everyday chores we do not pay for. The extra ones they offer to assist with we reward for.
Ruth I. says
I agree with this. My parents taught us to do chores and that we need to help out and not do it for compensation. We know it is our responsibility and it really helped when I was growing up.
Joanna @ Everyday Made Fresh says
I’ve never paid my kids to do chores. They have done chores because as part of the family they are doing their part.
Nichole Arnold says
My son is too young for most chores and is super helpful but he already knows that helping and doing what Mommy asks is the way to go. I can only hope to raise him with a desire to be responsible and reliable. I never had real chores growing up and I kind of feel like it made adult life a bit harder in some ways.
lauen happel says
We don’t pay our kids for chores either. They have set responsibilities that they have to do in the house and then there are extra ones that we have them do. The extras we do pay them for because they are used to teach them how to work hard and earn money, but their daily responsabilities there is no payment for in our house.
Mimi Green says
Growing up I was never paid to do chores. My son did chores for years without payment. Now he and his Dad have some sort of payment deal. It doesn’t make him lazy, or unappreciative, entitled or anything else.
I believe in parenting the way that works for your family.
Up Run for Life Healthy Lifestyle says
I am glad that I am not the only mom who thinks that kids don’t need to be paid to help around the house. We also don’t give an allowance since we take them to do things too.
My mom didn’t force us to do very many chores and it was a rude awakening when I moved out. I didn’t have a clue how much it takes to run a household. I started chores with my kids when they were young. I assigned them age appropriate chores and as they got older, I taught them new things.
Lynndee says
Growing up, me and my siblings didn’t get paid for doing chores. Then when I got here in the US, I was surprised to learn that some people I know pay their kids to do chores. I don’t pay my son to do chores. It’s his responsibility as a family member to do those chores.
Marielle Altenor says
We have another reward system when it comes to doing chores! I didn’t get any money when I was doing chores in my house as a child. The way I see it, it’s their house too and they need to help out without expecting payment each time.