It’s that time of year when parents across the globe bring out their ornery elf on the shelf. For an entire month, you will dedicate time out of your day to move and place this “doll” in various antics to be found by your children the next morning. Did you ever stop to think that Christmas magic works without lying about a stupid elf?
Christmas is a special time for just about every family in the world. For us, it’s a time when I can spend time with my kids making Christmas cookies, watching Christmas movies, and anything else we can do together this time of year. I love watching their eyes light up with the magic and excitement of Christmas!
While I may get a lot of backlashes, there’s one thing I believe strongly about, and that’s telling my kids the truth. I do not think it’s acceptable or okay to teach our kids eleven months out of the year that they need to tell the truth in all situations and have integrity, and then choose December to lie to them all in the name of fun and a stupid elf.
Lying to them about Santa is bad enough (and another topic for a different day), but spending an entire month lying to your kids every single day about a magic elf that’s watching them in the name of Christmas goes against everything Christmas is about.
Christmas magic works without lying about a stupid elf.
It does! I promise you it does. You don’t need to move an elf every night and make messes you don’t have time to clean up, in order for your kids to have amazing Christmas memories and to experience the special excitement that comes only with Christmas. For generations, kids have lived without this elf on the shelf, and still experienced the magic of Christmas just as much.
Bottom line? Stop lying to your kids. We can not teach our children that lies are bad, and that truth is of utter importance if it comes down to a little fun and we’re willing to do it to them every day. Telling my kids the truth about all things is very important to me. We’ve had a rough year, and had a lot of hurt feelings and damaged emotions from lies family members chose to tell my kids, and from now on only the truth is allowed in my house and for my kids. I won’t be another lie in the stack of untruths they’ve been told.
Getting rid of that stupid elf isn’t going to ruin Christmas. Telling your kids the truth, won’t ruin Christmas. If you want to do something special for your kids to keep the magic alive and exciting for all of Christmas, spend time with them! Use the time you spent setting up your elaborate elf schemes and then cleaning them up later, to engage in activities with your kids, instead of activities for them.
Not sure what to replace that time with? Why not make a craft with them? Bake some cookies? Go see the Christmas lights in the neighborhood? Read some Christmas books?
Volunteer at a local shelter.
Pray together.
You don’t need to lie to your kids for Christmas to be special. Sleep with a clean conscience this year, and spend time with your kids instead. Christmas magic works without lying about a stupid elf.
Karen Reyna says
I like our tradition and don’t think of it as stupid. It’s just been another fun thing to do for Christmas. We go see lights (in fact we already have), we bake, do puzzles, go on trips, do crafts, have a book Advent, Have chocolate Advent calendars, etc. I never once felt I was lying to my children. I also allowed them to enjoy the magic of believing in Santa.
Your post seems mean spirited.
Marissa says
We have been to see the lights, baked, we listen to the Christmas Carols and have done crafts. We are just like you. I just do not believe in teaching my kids about fake people or dolls. If you think about it… Its generally said all by most parents “If your not good (inster fake person here) wont come”. I dont need to manipulate my children to get them to behave. This is all personal opinion of course, I have many friends who do the elf every year and their kids love it. Its just not for my family.
It wasnt intentional to have this post sound mean spirited.
Mary Hill says
We never did Elf on The Shelf. We bake cookies and when I decorate the tree, I always invite my grands over to decorate, listening to Christmas music and drinking eggnog.
Stephani says
We don’t do the elf on a shelf, but I agree with the previous commenter that this post seems to be very mean spirited. There are better ways to get your point across without resorting to name calling or telling a huge portion of the population that their fun Christmas tradition is stupid. You’d find a lot less backlash over this post if you took out the harsh words, and you’d find you’d convey the spirit of Christmas a lot better without them as well. Having a contrary opinion is fine, expressing that opinion is fine, but calling it stupid and belittling others for doing it is childish and mean.
Marissa says
Thank you for your input.
Lisa Offrs says
The day the child learns that the elf is not real and there is no Santa will be a wonderful dress-rehearsal for his or her eventual transition to full-fledged atheism.
Marissa says
We are very involved in our Church. My kids look forward to going every Sunday and Wednesday evenings. Just because I explained to my kids that the elf is a doll someone has made millions on and that Santa is myself and my husband does not mean that they will turn their back on God and Church.
Thank you for your opinion.
Karen Sullivan says
We never did elf on the shelf or Santa Claus, except to tell the kids that Santa was just a fun thing like Mickey Mouse at Disneyland. I grew up without either of these, and so did my kids. I wanted to be honest with my kids, and I wanted them to know that gifts are given out of unconditional love and not because they were “good”. Guess what? Christmas is my favorite time of the year, and our whole family has always loved Christmas. Thanks for this article.
Marissa says
Karen,
You are a breath of fresh air! Thank you so much for your kind words and support. Christmas is our favorite time of the year. We always do the giving trees and my kids now feel like they are their own “Santa” to the kids we adopt for Christmas time. The magic is real, very real.
I appreciate you!
Ally says
For the record, we’ve taught our kids that Santa is a good-hearted game that our whole culture plays, and they know about the real St. Nicholas (Veggie Tales’ version of this is fun). Neither my parents, my husband’s nor we have ever threatened children with the naughty list…I question whether that’s as widespread a serious practice as you suggest.
Elf on a Shelf is, as far as I know, a newfangled “tradition” which we don’t do, but not out of any philosophical position. Anyone who just doesn’t know what to do with their kids around Christmas without Elf on a Shelf is not trying very hard, and I doubt there are many people asking that question.
That said, there is one thing I think you may have forgotten when you called it “lying” – that there’s a third category beyond “true” and “false” that kids beyond toddlerhood understand very well, and that’s “fiction.” Storytelling. December isn’t the only time we relate a story to our kids that is nonfactual but intended to delight rather than deceive, or when we pretend something for fun’s sake. Parents of the very young kids who might have trouble telling fiction from fact can ham up their surprise about finding evidence of the Elf’s mischief, and the kids will get that it’s a game. Make-believe games are pretty familiar, and it’s an extra delight to find their parents playing with them.
Man, the thing is that I don’t even like Elf on a Shelf – it doesn’t really make sense with the Santa story (why is this elf skipping out on toy building and instead being a rude houseguest?) and a lot of the EOAS ideas I see are crude or destructive, not exactly magical. But the tone of this post is so graceless and its target so small that it’s awfully hard to agree with.
Marissa says
Thank you so much for taking the time to leave this comment. I am in total agreeance that the Elf ideas have gone from harmless toy shenanigans to very explicit a lot of the time. I don’t find them funny or entertaining in the least.
Hannah says
Christmas time is a favorite in our family. We bake Christmas cookies, build gingerbread houses, make many crafts, we use this time of the year for giving back to the community (soup kitchen, donating to children etc.) And our loved elf jingles. I do not take any time out of spending time with my children for him. It is done every night after their bedtime. This is something that brings joy to my family, so who are you to call that stupid? You are more than welcome to your own opinion. But saying that parents who do elf on the shelf, can’t find a better way to spend time with their children is just mean.