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*This is my families story. All the accomplishments and amazing memories right along with the heartache and pain. I felt so alone many times becoming a blended family I wanted to share my experience and let others know, you are not alone.*
Families are a source of love, strength, and support, and when your family is blended, you need an extra dose of them all. Though we strive to build communication in blended families, there are certain things no one wants to talk about in blended families.
Putting a family together is hard for anyone, but there are special challenges that blended families face. The only reason why a family has to blend in the first place is that a previous family didn’t work out. Blended families are under the strain of not only trying to join together, but they are also under the added scrutiny of people who believe they have no chance of making it together. Because of that constant scrutiny, it can lead you into a state of defensiveness. When people are defensive, they are sometimes unwilling to admit the issues they are facing. It is impossible to heal and come together as a family if you are unable, to be honest about the things no one wants to talk about in blended families. Coming together is going to be key to managing life together well.
Things no one wants to talk about in blended families
Sometimes it feels easier to sweep things under the carpet to keep the peace, but the dirt is still there. If you talk about the things no one wants to talk about in blended families, you can make a clean break and succeed.
Sometimes people do get jealous
Because you are still working out your family dynamics, misunderstandings and jealousies are going to arise. This doesn’t mean that your family is failing, it is merely human nature. Don’t pack your bags yet, this is the time to dig in as a family. What is causing the jealousy? Is someone getting favored over someone else? Is there an imbalance of time and responsibility? Or is it merely that the person who is experiencing the jealousy is having a hard time adjusting to an area? It can be one or all of these things, and none of them are wrong, just challenges that must be dealt with.
You aren’t all best friends
When you’re just beginning as a blended family, it takes time to form relationships with everyone. Remember, only two people fell in love here, the rest are along for the ride. That doesn’t mean that they don’t like each other, but it will take a bit of time in order for them to get on the same page. Not all being best friends is one of the things no one wants to talk about in blended families. It feels like admitting failure, but you aren’t failing. You all can form wonderful friendships, but for them to be real, it has to build over time.
There’s fear that it won’t work out
When you began to blend a family, you knew very well that sometimes things don’t work out between families. People in blended families know that sometimes, even despite the best intentions, families fall apart. Fear of things falling apart is definitely a thing no one wants to talk about in blended families. It sort of hangs over them like a pall. This can cause your family not to be themselves or act naturally for fear of being the person who screws things up. Just because things went wrong in the past, that doesn’t doom you to a life of mistakes from now on.
The things no one wants to talk about in blended families are secret fears. Mostly they aren’t talked about because people will see them as an indication that your family won’t be successful. Those fears are unfounded. Though blending a family is not easy, there is no reason to believe that the family will fall apart just because you’re having a challenge. What is the thing in your blended family that you fear most?