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*This is my families story. All the accomplishments and amazing memories right along with the heartache and pain. I felt so alone many times becoming a blended family I wanted to share my experience and let others know, you are not alone.*
You’ve met your significant other’s children, and they have met yours. Now that you’ve gotten that sorted, are you ready to introduce the kids?
Having the kids meet up is the final step in making sure that your families are going to do well together. Everybody is nervous, and while that’s understandable, try not to get too stressed. Kids are so much more flexible than we give them credit for. You’ve done all of your due diligence so far, definitely don’t skip this step.
Introducing The Kids Is Going To Be Great
You’ve gotten to know your significant other’s children, and he’s gotten to know yours. Take that information you’ve gotten from these meetings and use it to let your children know what to expect; everything goes better with a little preparation.
Getting Ready For The Meeting
Just like when you introduced your significant other to your kids, you don’t want to put too much pressure on anyone. Pick a low key setting, somewhere that everyone can have fun while they are getting acquainted. Think of an activity that you all enjoy, and get a consensus on what everyone would like to do. Introducing the kids is going to go much more smoothly the less nervous that everyone is. Bonus: this is a great way to see how you all can work together as a family at a later date.
Oddly enough we just hung out as friends normally do so it wasn’t such a stressful time. We did a BBQ dinner and played games in the back yard. Very low key but centimental.
Keep Your Expectations Reasonable
Just like Rome wasn’t built in a day, neither will your new family. Introducing your significant other’s kids to yours is exciting, and you’re hoping for the best. Make sure that you don’t set yourself or your kids up for disappointment by expecting to walk away from that meeting with everyone being best friends. That doesn’t mean that you all can’t get to know each other and build a bond, and maybe everyone WILL make fast friends, but you shouldn’t feel like you’ve failed if that doesn’t happen. Give everyone space to learn about each other and make a connection. Lasting bonds are often built slowly.
Communicate With Your Children
Remember that sometimes love can blind us to potential issues that may arise. Listen carefully to your children and hear what they have to say about how the meeting went. Introducing the kids is a great opportunity to observe both sets of children and make sure that they mesh well together. Just because you and your significant other are crazy in love doesn’t mean that the kids you have will fall in love or even like with each other right away. What you want to be cautious of is making your children feel like they will have to like your significant other’s children or risk disappointing you. That is definitely not something that you want to happen, so make sure your kids know that you want their honest opinions and that you won’t shame them for being upfront with you.
Introducing the kids is a big milestone in your relationship, and I know you want it to go well. It sounds awfully likely that it WILL go well, just give the situation some space. You want everyone to love each other, and if you nurture the bond and encourage them to get to know one another, I’m sure that will happen naturally. What activity are you planning for your big meet up?
*I have a specific Newsletter on just the Blended Family Series. Feel free to join it below. If you are already on my email list you WILL need to join this one separately. The main Newsletter will not have these articles included.*