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*This is my families story. All the accomplishments and amazing memories right along with the heartache and pain. I felt so alone many times becoming a blended family I wanted to share my experience and let others know, you are not alone.*
Blending a family is an incredible task, and you’re probably feeling a little scared by the importance of getting it right. One of the best ways to tell you’re heading in the right direction is being called mom or dad for the first time by your stepchild. The hard part is over! You have introduced your kids to your significant other and the kids have all met. Whew! You made it!
This first time being identified as your child’s parent could come in a variety of ways. You could hear them talking about you to one of their friends, saying that you are their mother or father. They could be in trouble and come to talk to you because you are their mom or dad. In a great rush of love, they could call you mom or dad. There is really no telling how it will come but it is going to be an incredible experience for you. The best way to handle the name situation is not to put any pressure on the child as to what to call you. When they choose to call you Mom or Dad, it lets you know that they have chosen YOU, rather than having acceptance thrust upon them.
Being called Mom Or Dad For The First Time By Your Stepchild
If you are unsure as to whether or not you are connecting with your stepchild, this will erase those doubts. Hearing your stepchild claim you as their parent for the first time is a treasured memory that you will always have with you.
I totally got teary eyed when I heard those words for the first time.
Your heart is going to soar
When you hear your child call you mom or dad for the first time, your heart is going to absolutely burst. No one can really describe that feeling to you. To hear those words, lets you know that you are doing something right. Your child has accepted you as a parent for the very first time. IF you have been feeling curious about whether or not they understand how you feel about them, this first time hearing them refer to you as mom or dad will leave you in no doubt.
I remember it like it was just 5 minutes ago. We were sitting at the dinner table having conversation while we ate. Out of the blue my son says, “Oh and Mom…” We all STOPPED and just looked at him. He looked at me and says, ” What? You are my Mom”. It was totally a moment of “Crap I got something in my eye and its watering really bad, better go check it in the bathroom”. After that it was Mom this and Mom that and it still hasn’t stopped and I am completly ok with that.
You know that you’ve been bonding well
It isn’t easy to bond with a child. They have the ability to see things that we adults may miss. These little people use their insight to discern who is safe to be around and who is not. Being called mom or dad for the first time by your stepchild lets you know that they believe you when you say that you care for them. The work you have put into creating a bond with them is not for naught.
Your child knows that you’re going to be around
Children are not foolish. They know when someone is dependable. When a family is working to blend, that is usually because their previous family fell apart. Children who have experienced that are not easy to win over. They know that things can change and that it hurts when they do. For your stepchild to call you Mom or Dad for the first time, it lets you know that they are as invested in your family as you are. With everyone working together, it means that you all will work hard to make a successful family.
We all hear the horror stories about evil stepparents and demon stepchildren. Don’t let this become your reality, overcome it. Make this is a moment in your lives that will give you a positive memory in your mind to keep you going on the tough days. Your family is coming together, don’t give up!
Has your stepchild called you Mom or Dad yet?