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*This is my families story. All the accomplishments and amazing memories right along with the heartache and pain. I felt so alone many times becoming a blended family I wanted to share my experience and let others know, you are not alone.*
By now, you’ve been reading books and scouring blogs for any bit of you can find. When you’re starting a blended family, you’re looking everywhere for strategies to make a blended family truly blend.
As your quest for information has told you, this is not simple work. There is no easy way to make a family blend. This is a process that takes time, but as your time is passing, you will need to apply these strategies to keep you on track. Rome wasn’t built in a day, but they didn’t sit on their hands waiting for Rome to be built either. You are going to put all of your energy and all of your love into building your family. These strategies to make a blended family truly blend will help you to know what you can do to help things along as you all are growing together.
3 Strategies to Make a Blended Family Truly Blend
First and foremost, take a deep breath! Relaxing and allowing everyone to be themselves is one of the best strategies to make a blended family truly blend; here are some others:
Give everybody a voice and purpose
People love to know what their job is when they are working on something. With a purpose, we are able to know where we fit and what we can do to make things successful. It also helps us to feel important. Sometimes in blended families, people feel neglected or like they aren’t needed. Have discussions as a family, make decisions that children can participate in together. When everyone has a voice and a purpose, that will make a blended family truly blend.
Listening was the best thing I could have done. Upset kids need to be heard so they dont feel lost with the new events in their life.
Don’t rush things or try too hard
Everyone knows your goal as a family. When you are working together on those goals, it will help you stay on track. Having said that, you don’t want to force things too much. When you try too hard to rush things, then people aren’t going to be themselves or say their true opinions, they are going to go with the flow, and there will be underlying issues that never become addressed. Though you are anxious to make your family into a beautiful unit, allow yourselves time. This will allow your family time to grow together, which is one of the best strategies to make a blended family truly blend.
As a Mom you want to try your hardest to make everyone happy and have them get a long. I learned very quickly somethings just have to be hashed out without Mom help. Letting the kids scream and yell at each other for a few minutes helped them get anger out and say what they needed to say. They each were able to get off their chest their issues and then we worked together to come to a conclusion. My kids are very young still at the moment so letting them be heard is so important.
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Remember to relax
Of all of the strategies to make a blended family truly blend, this is the most important of them all. Relax! This is not a project that you can complete over a weekend or a few months. It may take years for you all to fall in love with each other and make your family work well together. It is a delicate process, and part of getting there is learning to enjoy the journey together. Your family is coming together, just give it time. Picture your family as a garden. With the right amount of tending, it grows up beautifully. Overtend? It turns into a sparse mess. Relax, and things will come together in no time.
Relaxing. This was the HARDEST. I wanted my kids to get along and love each other and the be best of friends but at the same time I was finding myself playing referee a lot. Like A LOT. Wine helps 😉
Blending a family is a lot like building a friendship. You want to take your time and allow your family to grow together and learn to love each other. You don’t have to fake it just to show people how well you’re doing. What is your favorite strategy for making your blended family truly blend?